I too, have both major depression and BPD. I have wondered many time why I can't seem to get better. It sounds like you are suffering some heavy consequences of overdosing. But it doesn't seem to matter how "fortunate" you are when you have these illnesses, they are what they are and they can happen to anyone.

I wonder, too, about your DBT group. I have had DBT in a hospital setting for just over two weeks, and it didn't stick. I still really struggle with my BPD symptoms. What I remember about DBT is that we weren't allowed to talk about our suicidal feelings. All discussion had to be within the confines of the DBT principles. It seems like it would be helpful to talk with others about the feelings.

I know this isn't very helpful, but I hope you can stick it out until you get through this very bad episode. We are here to listen and support.