((((Mama)))) in your own time ... whatever you need to do right now to feel safe and cherished and protected. Also, it takes a heck of a lot of energy to make big changes.

You are taking care of you. But you are also taking care of the children. And the home. And are close with your family. And active in the church. Whew. That is a lot. Give yourself permission for baby steps.

Perhaps you can think about how you can be kinder and more compassionate with yourself. You are doing the best you can with the coping skills you have....maybe you and T can talk about ways you can ask for what you need while you are all living under the same roof.

You are not stupid. You are quite intelligent. If you are feeling used, or sucked dry, think about ways with T how you can express that to H in "man-speak" so you dont feel so awful while you are gaining.

I know you probably cannot see it right now, but you have made great strides.