Hi all, I was new here and I still had people responding and try to help. THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.
However, I am going to stop coming to this site. As some of you probably understood from my other posts, I am in a pretty desperate place right now in my therapy and in a more personal level, so it might be best to withdraw from everything -- especially from any type of human interaction -- otherwise I will be end up seem as a very selfish and ever complaining person as I can only look at my own problems right now, and probably that is how is going to be for a loong time.
I AM SORRY!! I am sooo very lost.
Also, sorry to those I did not answer -- especially for the PM I did not answer. Thank you, Teck.
Thank you all.