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Hi there,
I know that many people suffer the same problem; I read about it in the internet but could not get the proper answer... So I would like to share my experience and be very kind for your comments and advise.
A couple of months ago I almost totally lost interest in most of the things I love, i.e. listening to music, playing video games, watching cinema etc. I’m a big fan of hip hop music and culture in general. I have a vinyl collection, a turntable and a mixer; I used to listen to my records almost every day in the evening after work and search for new ones on the web, besides I listened to music digitally in my jukebox, and purposely bought special headphones for the better sound. But right now I feel like I don’t want to do it anymore, like it does not make me happy, only occasionally. When I try to listen to music, I feel like something inside rejects it. I even feel unhappy when I dress like I used to. The problem is that hip hop used to be my lifestyle; I travelled overseas for the shows and festivals, visited domestic concerts, used to contact people of the same interest. I remember how I used to read a hip hop book in September 2012 and listened to the music related to it, I felt really involved. But suddenly I felt like I’m not that person any more. And it makes me so sad. I try to get that feeling back but most of the time something blocks it from the inside. The same thing happened to my other hobbies such as gaming or watching cinema. I don’t want to buy new games or new movies. When I listen to music or watch movies I feel like it’s a waste of time, sometimes I think like people say pointless or even stupid things.
Please share your opinion could that be depression or just I’m getting old? I’m 26 years old now. I want to get my excitement and passion back, I just feel like an empty person without all my hobbies, totally unhappy and sad.
I’m having some mental illnesses like obsessive thought and had panic attacks about a year and so ago. I used to take some medication – anti-depressants (sertraline) and anti-psychotic – to cure the panic attacks. I stopped taking pills in October 2012 except for a small dosage of sertraline (25 mg/daily) which I still take, because my panic attacks have gone and my mental feelings became much better, especially after summer vacations (by the way we were at the Hip Hop Festival in Czech and I was totally excited). Maybe that’s somehow connected to my medication withdrawal… I don’t know. But I would like to get my interest and hobbies back and be the same person like 3 or 4 months ago!
Your advise would be highly appreciated!
Many thanks,
Alex
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