I got this sometimes with my sons father.

It got to the point where he would ask me if I was in the right mood to watch tv before turning on the tv. My having flashbacks and so on and having so many triggers were interferring with his tv time.

then one day he did something different. instead of turning the channel allowing my problems to become his problems. He stood up for himself and his choice of unwinding and entertainment.

He looked at me and said. Im not turning the channel again because I live here too and have every right to engage in activities that I like just like you do.

Im sorry that you are having a problem but it is your problem from things that went on before you and I met. I can't fix it for you and I can't make those things not to have happened.

What I can offer you is support in helping you through this by helping you to leave the room so that you can do something calming like taking a bath, listen to your music when something I am watching upsets you and then when you are ready I can hold you, give you a back massage whtever you need.

When he did that I realized I was being unfare to him by expecting him to just put his forms of entertainment and ways of unwinding on hold because I couldnt handle them. When I am watching a movie and he comes home in a bad mood or gets upset about something I don't turn off the movie.

I talked with my therapist and with her help I learned other ways to handle the situation instead of expecting him to give up his shows and so on.

I learned to call my therapist, call friends, listen to my music with my headphones so that he could hear and watch his show while I calmed myself, I read the tv guide so that I always had a general idea of the movies content so if it contained any of my known triggers I did dishes, took a bath, did laundry and so on instead of watching tv.

Just because we were living together didn't mean we had to like the same things and do the same things all the time. He had shows he liked and I had shows that I liked and we both had shows that we both liked.

From then on his choice in tv and my getting triggered never was a source of problems between us any more. We no longer went through the silent anger treatment of each other, his missing out on his shows and so on.

I know you can't help it that this is happening to you and as you have figured out you can't change him. All a person in this type of situation can do is change their own self and behavior so maybe you can do what I did and it will or may help you -

talk with your therapist and build an emergency list of things you can do other than having him turn off the tv show.

Hang in there