I think I might have an idea what it meant, judging on my own experiences, I always felt kind of "imprisoned" by my mental illness, and always wondered if it didn't have something to do with why I had a sexual addiction (the "special favors," and the sheets).
The church part had to do with me trying the church scene and it never working out; in fact in some ways it made me worse because of the adament denial of mental illness in my case--it was always that I wasn't giving enough money to the church, wasn't right with God, etc. As far as me being able to leave the grounds, I think it was because a lot of people have tried to help me out and I did have times when I felt more "sane." At the end, when I escaped, I think it was because I feel like I am finally getting the help I need, but not in the way I originally thought (thru the church way). As far as me looking up, and worrying about getting caught: sometimes I am afraid that God is going to punish me because I'm taking meds and seeing a psychiatrist, instead of depepnding on the church to help me out.