With the end of the 12 month requirement in my state to divorce coming soon (less than 8 weeks), I have been looking at information on how to proceed.

A little background since I have not posted much, if any, on this particular forum. Back in March, my wife (essentially my ex) decided she didn't want to be married anymore. In a nutshell, she wanted the younger, wilder life again and proceeded to have multiple bfs since then, and is now living with the latest one. Anyway I'll leave out a lot of the mess that she left me, financially. She has no job still. She collects food stamps, illegally really as she doesn't have the kids... but I'm getting to that part. This has gone on for awhile. She left me when she had no job, did get one for a short time and quit, got another and got fired and hasn't had one since. Anyway that's just the tip of the iceberg. But my point is not about that.

After separating our home situation was that we had two leases and since she had no job, I had initially tried to keep up both (sstupid I know) and ended up losing a new car, both leases and ended up wth evictions on my record. She found a bf that would let her move in after being kicked out of a roommate situation... o.O Yeah I know. crazy. I was married (am married) come march it will be 14 years. I moved into an extended stay hotel and have remained since. it's easiest for me at the moment knowing that it's going to be difficult at best to find an apartment right now..

My kids are with me. She stayed in the hotel with me for a short time, lacking a place to live. When she left, the kids remained with me and have pretty much the entire time. She doesn't come around - using the excuse she has no vehicle (but really makes no attempts to find a way to see the kids much) and has no money (again, making no real attempt to find a job) The times she's contributed by buying us food, calling it support, she takes me shopping borrowing her bf's car since i have none yet either. ( I take a bus to work everyday and get a ride I pay for from a friend in the hotel) She says hi from the parking lot to the kids, gives them kisses and is on her way. That's about the only interaction they get with her. They have stopped asking about her anymore which saddens me as it seems they've kind of given up on her coming around..

So with that in mind I was happy to see this:

"If one parent moves out and leaves the kids with the other parent, does it hurt the moving parent's chances of getting custody at a later date?

In a word, yes. Even when a parent leaves to avoid a dangerous or highly unpleasant situation, if the parent hopes to have physical custody at a later time it's unwise to leave the children behind. The parent who leaves sends a message to the court that the other parent is a suitable choice for physical custody. Also, assuming the children stay in the home where the parents lived as a family, continue in the same school, and participate in their usual activities, a judge may be reluctant to change physical custody, if only to avoid disrupting the children's regular routines."

~via http://www.nolo.com/legal-encycloped...q-29054-2.html

Yay. I take care of the boys 24 x 7. Without any help from her. According to that she's giving up a lot by her actions.

Just had to rave about this news