Astenon, I will answer your points briefly, and explain further tomorrow when feeling up to it more.
He's been patient for a year. At no point did he threaten me, just explained he wants a r/s. Not just text/talk, and never seeing me.
He never suggested to see me just for sex, but explained he has needs, which is natural.
I cancelled numerous dates, often even after he'd planned to cook a meal for us, often short notice.
He isn't going to wait around for ever, and told me, he didn't care if my hair needed doing. He wanted to see me, for me to take the step, outside of the prison I was in.

I am doing all the work at the moment, because I co*ked up ! I couldn't see just how low I was getting.