Rose, you sound like you have been a wonderful friend for a long time, and most probably you are more appreciated than you know, only people forget to say so. They may not realise you are struggling now...I think it would be perfectly reaspnable for you to approach his children and the place he lives at and say you are getting tired and need some help. Perhaps there are some specific tasks you can ask someone else to do for your friend rather than you, or say that you willvisit him on so many days per week but need some days off. If you say you need rather than want they might see that it is not that you dont care but just getting burnt out. By the way...you are not whining when you come here and tell us your story and ask for help :-)..you are sharing and we are happy to listen to you..we might need your ear some day! Maybe you might find other people in your life will react the same?