Thanks CE I did once, a little of it (or something kind of, sort of, a little bit like self worth). My horses seemed to value me, so that was like finally, I was good enough for something. I was accepted as good enough, exactly as I was. While I had a great pony, I could be out there achieving things, because she was so good and she took care of me. My current horse is retired and I do gain some things from him, but not self worth. I guess I've never had that sense of it inside myself really. I really have no idea how to actually, truly like or appreciate a single bit of me. I'm always just trying to force away the feelings of being valueless, worthless, and completely horrible. That seems to be the best that I can manage. I can't recall a time in my life when I've felt better than that. It's always been about looking away from how awful I am. It all seems so impossible. T hasn't given up on me yet. So that's something.