I want to get back into therapy but I don't know where to start. When I last went I was around 18. I was about 14 when I first started feeling depressed. There wasn't anything going on at the time, or any traumatic events, I just remember feeling immense sadness. It got progressively worse. I tried talking to my family about it, but they said I would just get over it, and to suck it up. A week after my 18th birthday my father passed away. The school had a counselor I talked to. After a couple of talks he realized I needed more help than he could provide. He referred me to another person at the clinic he worked at. I didn't feel comfortable talking with them, I eventually found a therapist that I found comfortable talking to. At the time I was a complete mess. I was dealing with untreated depression, the grief of losing my father and other stuff. Things started to get better, but I lost my insurance. I was able to get insurance though the state, but her clinic was not covered. I tried a couple more therapists, but I didn't like them and gave up trying to get help.
I meet someone, and that made my life better for a while. My family never really supported me, and gave me **** for going to a psychiatrist. That made me feel pretty guilty for feeling depressed. I tend to bottle everything up, which only adds to these feelings. After I meet my wife I started feeling a lot less depressed. Maybe it was being in love, or maybe I finally felt accepted. Things were good for 3 or 4 for years. I would have highs and lows, but the lows wouldn't drag out for months and I was able to manage them. I was working and going to school full time. I think that took it's toll on myself and my marriage. I haven't really dealt with the stuff that I went to therapy for in the first place. I made improvements in my life along the way. I stopped associating with my family members that lie and take advantage of me. I got a degree in engineering. I have a good paying job now. When I was going to school and working I just focused on the day to day and what I needed to get done at the time. I pretended everything was fine whenever I felt really depressed and focused on what I needed to do.
Now that I am done with my degree and I don't feel like a zombie anymore I am starting to feel depressed. I want to actually get some issues resolved and live a happier life. I have a big struggle with self-esteem, depression, and some issues revolving my dad. I tried calling my old therapist but she doesn't treat adults, only teens and children. How do you go about finding a therapist? I also have a full time job and I would prefer them to not know about this. Do therapist do weekend appointments or evenings? Do I just go therapists to therapists until one seems right? I am in the processes of getting a primary care doctor and my get to know you visit is next week. I though about trying some anti-depressants. I tried a couple in the past, but I was so overwhelmed I doubt they could have worked. (zoloft and effexor). Any thoughts or suggestions? Sorry for the long drawn out post.