Hello Everyone,

I am new to these forums and I was just recently diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. The psychiatrist didn't specify which type of Bipolar, but I am assuming it is Bipolar II Disorder since to my knowledge, I have never had a manic episode. I was diagnosed after being misdiagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder after spending some time in the hospital for Postpartum Depression. Apparently, one of the hallmarks of undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder is Postpartum Depression. I actually work in the mental health field and I am a graduate student studying Clinical and Counseling Psychology so I know about the various Mood Disorders, including Bipolar, so I find it interesting to be experiencing and learning about it at the same time. I have had problems with depression since I was a teenager though and in hindsight now that I have been diagnosed, I had also been struggling with hypomania--excessive spending, an increase in goal-directed activities that would drop off as soon as the hypomanic phase ended (which caused problems with me being seen as unreliable...I often agreed to take on more projects than I could handle), extreme irritability, and flight of ideas etc. I believe I am Rapid Cycling but I am not going to self-diagnose and I am going to discuss this with my therapist. Currently, I am struggling to pay off $5,000 worth of credit card while being a stay at home mom because I can't afford daycare because of the debt and I can't handle much stress at the moment without it causing me a great deal of anxiety (to the point where I can't function properly). Before the baby was born, I had started reducing my debt, I managed to pay most of it off, then spent $3-4,000 and put myself right back where I was. The excessive spending is what I struggle with the most (besides the depressive episodes which are absolutely awful).

How do you deal with a lack of support? One day, I was trying to talk to my mom about how depressed I felt (I had been so depressed that I had been cutting at this point; I've stopped now and I am not in danger.) and on one hand she's telling me that I can come talk to her anytime I need to and on the other, she's telling me that I need to "snap out of it" and stop being selfish because there's more important things we need to worry about. When I was in the hospital, she came to visit me and asked me how I was enjoying my mini vacation. Now, the easiest thing to do would be to ignore her, but unfortunately, I live with her because of my money problems. I think she triggers my depression and I've tried talking to her about it in a nice way and wording it so that I'm not blaming her, but she just gets angry and says it's not her fault that I have mental problems. She doesn't really understand Bipolar and I'm afraid to really go into depth with her because than she says that I'm coming up with excuses and again, I need to snap out of it and stop thinking about myself. I really have no idea how to deal with her anymore