Just respond when you can, dear one! Have you considered talking to a counselor about your situation? It IS a major decision, and I know you want as much input as you can get in a reasonable period of time. Plus, you might explore why you don't feel like you deserve to be happy. I feel sad about that, and I want you to make a decision that will be for the best--and not make one you will regret later, as you said, maybe because you are having a "late-life" crisis.