Yes. I know what you mean there. I read some self help books, self educated myself as much as I could. Had some therapy but only one was truly helpful. I denied that I had depression to myself for many years. I knew something was wrong tho and I just looked everywhere I could for answers. Places like PC have helped enormously. I hope you get to feeling better and have your checkup done. If I had known what my symptoms were called Im sure I could have figured things out sooner but I kinda just bumped along with it.