It definitely can happen, and as CM said, it takes a long time.

But I honestly think you're wise (to the degree that it can be under your control) in not attaching to your current T.

To be bluntly frank, I think she has shown repeatedly that she is unable to understand/accept you fully on your terms. I haven't seen anything in your posts to indicate that this will change. And under the circumstances, I don't see how it would be possible for you to experience a secure attachment with her. The best I could envision is along the lines of attachment by creating a false self, in Winnicott terms.

I think it's totally possible for you, but not with this T.