thank you for the response. I really appreciate the openess of this site. I have never opened up before . It is so nice to know that I am not crazy or weak or stuborn. Other people feel the same way I do. I hope we can continue to talk about things. Feel free to write anytime. I look forward to hearing. I don't have many friends. I was an air force brat and never really learned to make long time friends. there is so much I want to finally share. I feel I can now. I have a place I can go. Thanx so much