I feel like such a horrible person. Every time a friend of mine has gotten engaged in the last couple years, I react by bursting into tears. I find out via facebook or text, so I don't cry in front of them or anything, but I feel like I can't be completely happy for any of them because I'm so miserable and jealous. eVen right now, I hate that my roommate has a new boyfriend because he's here almost everyday. I can hear them laughing downstairs and it just stings even more. I hate that I'm alone, and it hurts so bad. I'm turning 26 this year just to give y'all some reference.

I want my own family so bad, but I don't know how it'll ever happen when I have a hard enough time even making friends. About 5 months ago, I moved across the country for grad school and I just really wanna go back to at least have my friends and my awesome therapist back. Ugh, what kind of person cries when their friends are happy?

I've had no luck meeting people at clubs (like organizations, not nightclubs), school, church, through friends, or even online. In fact, online dating is how I met the guys who sexually assaulted me and another guy who harassed me for months with disgusting, explicit texts, so there is no way in h*** I would ever do that again. People say I'm smart, pretty, caring, funny, etc., but obviously not if no one at all is interested.