Quote:
Originally Posted by jcl76
WOW! I am so glad you posted this. It just hit me that the LTR I just got out of robbed me of so much of who I was because I tried to make something work with a girl who had so many issues that I was obsessed with fixing her. It took me to the bottom of the barrel.
I always thought I was simply fighting for the one I love (which i did), and I didnt want it to end until I knew I gave it my all! She didnt reciprocate that, but I kept thinking I should just have faith. I thought it was just the internal optimist in me, but this just made so much sense!
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I am so glad to hear this post shed some light for you on your situation and glad to hear you got out before it destroyed you emotionally and/or otherwise.
The book that I mentioned talks a lot about how being obsessed with fixing people is characteristic of codependent people. It also states that codependents are caretakers of everyone but themselves and how events in our lives caused us to become this way. I am just getting to the part that teaches you how to take care of yourself.
Now, I just have to try to determine if the changes he appears to be making are genuine because he wants to change or if it's just temporary until "I relax". If he's just pacifying me and starts with the emotionally degrading comments again, I am walking... It's just not worth it. Life is too short to live with abuse.
I would highly recommend the book to you as we tend to attract needy people and repeat our patterns until we recognize when we are being codependent and take steps to heal and change ourselves. We deserve better and it's time we believe that truth.
Best wishes to you and God bless!