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Originally Posted by Nightlight
I said today to T that I understood that someone like me was hard to work with for such a long time (four years), because I never really get better
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightlight
I'm so much better now about sharing the true emotions connected with something, but it was such a gradual thing. I noticed it happened really slowly as the trust, stability and duration of the relationship increased.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nightlight
I think now that I'm starting to look at T briefly, while being so honest and open, and while connecting with the emotions, that things are coming together in a way they haven't before.
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Nightlight, do you see how the first quote is deeply at odds with the other two? You may be feeling crappy but it sounds like you're improving like mad. The growth you describe is at the very heart of this deal. Many, many people run from or deny their feelings because they are too terrifying, especially people with traumatic histories. Having the inner resources and bravery to face them in the presence of that fear shows the depth of your work and strength. Maybe you could give yourself some credit for that?