I understand where you are coming from ... I have the some issues that your husband is currently going thru .. But I made a life decision to attempt to chanage my habits when coming to grips with my emotions ..

I suggest that he does see a counselor because his problems will just compound on top of each other. This does not alleviate the pressures that he is attempting to deal with. Furthermore I would suggest that you also seek assistance with him possibly an friend might be able to let him know what he is doing is incorrect .

Seek assistance for a church , domestic abuse advocate (verbal abuse is domestic abuse ) ..

Hope I can help

PM me if needed