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Originally Posted by Callista
Does he know how to figure out when he needs help? I often have trouble with this. I have an aide and a lot of help from disability services and the counseling center at my school, but I have a lot of trouble initiating contact with them, so I often need help but don't know that I have to ask for it--I just don't think of asking, or I think of it and then forget it. And I'm in college; this is a little kid. Recently I've had to basically arrange for them to check up on me whether I ask for it or not.
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You are so right on with this. One email I received from the school, the director said "he's so smart, but I'm afraid since he won't talk to anyone he won't ask for help when he needs it." So very true. That's one point I need to talk to them deeper about and you give me some ideas.. that maybe finding a way for them to check on him.. better yet, since even if they check on him he may not verbalize the reality that he needs help we need to find a way that would compell him to speak up when they ask. Maybe some incentives for him that when he's actually done well by asking for help he gets something in return. hmmm.. gears are turning.
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Gifted kids with disabilities often get their giftedness held against them. It's like, "You're so smart; why can't you do--" some skill that they're really bad at... and then people think they're just refusing or being rebellious or mean or something.
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I tell him he's smart like that but not in the sense of saying "what's wrong with you that you can't do better." I said the other day "you're too smart for us to let this go. We'll find a way to get you to have an easier time in school."
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Now that's interesting! See, this is something that happens with autism, so often--we have trouble juggling information about everybody's mental states, so we may forget that somebody doesn't know something, or assume that people have the same perspective we do; or conversely, make so few assumptions about people that we have to learn each person individually from the ground up! It's not uncommon for family members of autistics to have mild autistic traits themselves; I bet that's one of yours. It's probably a matter of processing stuff. We have kind of a one-track mind, a laser-pointer mind that's focused so intensely on one thing, to the exclusion of everything else.
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I am pretty sure that I am an aspie too. Thing is I took the aspie quiz, another different one I can't remember the name of, and the Cambridge Personality Assessment and all of them showed highly likely aspie. So yeah you're right on the money again. I've learned to cope well enough to get along in the real world, keep a job etc. but in any areas outside of necessity such as work, shopping and getting things done - ie, social and leisure activities, I fail for the most part. I am pretty isolated, I don't socialize and have many issues with speaking to people at times.
Thank you so much for your input on this, it is very valuable to me
*hugs*