I understand what you are going thru cuz i'm kinda having a similar problem. I was told that the music inside is loud for my own good. I've asked for answers, and am always told that i don't want to know, or i can't know just yet. two weeks ago they cut me off from them for protective reasons, a memory stirring too close to the surface and they blacked me out. I can't really hear them and I can't see any of them.they don't come out to help me cuz of whatever IT is. i say get it over with and tell me. my roommate says i'm too unstable for the info right now. i saw my psychiatrist and he put me on different mood stablizers and said it should help with the high level of protection.
So you ain't ain't alone; i know it's so confusing and sometimes it's like you are lonely cuz your system is acting weird, even if it's for a good reason. If you trust your protector; then you have to believe what she/he is saying. It sounds like your system has a lot of group interaction with themselves and that's good.... even if it feels like it leaves you out in the cold.
"Weathering the storm that is coming" is a scarey thing to be told but you got a system that is keeping that storm at bay until you can deal with it.
i know i don't know anyone very well but here goes.. . . . . . . ((one and many))

Take it Light
-j