So I go in and out of depression and the last few days all I want to do is sleep. I have a history of trying to commit suicide 9 times in the past year and a half and have been diagnosed with major depression recurring and BPD. But, right now I should be happy new job and boyfriend and I am more depressed than ever. This past Monday it was my birthday and I only got out of bed to go see my psychiatrist. Last week I drank from Wednesday to Saturday and from Sunday until now I have been in bed. I have not gone into work and have used the excuse of I have a rash that I got that I can't stop scratching ( which I did and did go to the doctor for), but I can go to work. If I keep it up I am going to get fired this is a new job. I just don't have the energy to get out of bed. And, for the past year all I've been saying is the thing that may snap me a little out of the depression would be a job, but I guess it's not. I don't know what to do. I cut again today and this time I cut the letters FML onto me. Anyone have any ideas I am so lost I really need to get my act together. I do go to therapy every week.