Confusion about why I feel the way I feel.

Is it just simply depression or is it more?

When you isolate yourself in your head . When you are unable to verbalise all the thoughts and images running through your head, so fast at times you cannot keep up. Some days you’re with it 110% bouncing with giddiness or agitation and making plans. Then comes the days your barely open your mouth to speak, you roll through the day with zero motivation or concentration. I am unable to explain all the thoughts in my head. I could manage before meds on 4 -5 hours sleep a night. Now I’m sleeping for about 8 -9 hrs. I don’t understand it.

The past 2 weeks (on medication 13 days) have been an all time low. My personality is now devoid of any sunshine. I’ve managed to stay in work but only just. I don’t think I can manage another week in the office.

I now feel anxiety also which I never thought I would suffer from as once upon a time a majorly confident person. I still get the day (more like hours now) when I still consider myself indestructible however these are few and far between now.

I just don’t understand.