I am in control of my involuntary complulsions of self deprecation and desruction. I have faith that I am loved more than I am able to comprehend now. People tell me I help them and people nurture me by listening to me ramble on senselessly at times without judging me too harshly and treating me with compassionate love. This gives me confidence that I am worth something, rather than being made to feel worthless and a burden, as was my childhood experience. I found religion after much work on being socially benevolent and kind and genuine. I was socially awkward and at times belligerant to those who tried to help me and indifferent as well.