One of the most difficult things when youre depressed is dealing with the non depressed. There were so many times I wanted to be with the group, laughing, joking, taking it easy but I just couldnt get my mind off all the things bugging me. In some ways I think I kept the cycle going by thinking about it all too much but, what was I supposed to do, ignore it?

I guess these days that is what I do just so I can get along in groups and at work but its also true that things that used to bother me dont as much anymore.

I think we have to find a way to be true to ourselves and when others dont like it just excuse them, excuse ourselves. I could become really angry with people when I spent too much time thinking about how they'd reacted to me, thinking it was them with the problem, not me, because if they were real about life theyd notice a few things out of whack too and darnit they ought to be bothered by it as much as I was.

People. So complicated. Guess its why I prefer being alone at times.