Just knowing I have them. Just knowing that mostly there are under control. The knowledge that I live comfortably with them staying inside of my head, is good.

The other night, (I just got on a mania med that was brand new to me) I had a cosmic change. In other words the potency of the meds got my concious awareness confused so that I was not aware of the difference between the inside and the outside. So the inside got out for freedom. This inside is "The Gypsy Fortune Teller," She is more intimidating of most of my 20 personalities. I may be able to name some more but lets say 20.

I feel like crap. I need reaffirming. I just lost a friend, this time. I can't change what occured. No one was physically hurt, yet this friend was tramatized indeed. He is not emotionally well, beings that he is sick himself with addiction recovery, but in no way able to deal with "The Fortune-Teller Gypsy," so now I don't have him for a friend anymore.

I feel so crummy. Yes the medicine is working all right now, but man, It costed me. I wish I wouldn't have visited my friend that night, and can't go back in time to change anything.
To no avail did my explanations work.

If I go around there, there could be legal trouble, for what they can call stalking, for he will not answer the phone and when I visited and knocked he would not open the door.

boy of boy, how I feel bad bad bad. I feel bad