Yes, Hankster, my mother has me on a treadmill of sorts. There was never any encouragement to date or marry or have friends - or teaching of skills to facilitate these things - all so that I would be available to take care of her in her old age. Not only was there insufficient nuturing and outright manipulation, there was also mom's constant verbal abuse (yelling), as well as denial of material and emotional needs, which also left deep, deep scars. Basically, I was told to raise myself.

I have tried Buddhist meditation with modest results. The real problem was that no one at the two centers I attended was friendly. I am not a big smiler and have below average looks, making me less appealing to mix with even though I am friendly and did some volunteer work to get to know people. It was not my crowd; I did not fit in. Being gay didn't help either.