WhiteClouds,
I am so sorry for the troubles you're facing. You are not alone though. I'd like to share a little of what my flatmate went through with her ex-bf as it's similar to what you are facing.
She put everything: heart, soul and her absolute being into their relationship and, through emotional abuse, he very nearly destroyed her. (if you'd like to know more, please PM me. I typed some of it in here but it was getting long!)

I urge you to continue to seek some therapy. She did and it helped her enormously. Someone suggested marriage counselling. This may work, but I fear, from what you've said, that he'll be one thing to the therapist and continue his abusive behaviours towards you at home.

I understand your faith is important to you and that the last thing you want to do is consider divorce. I'm afraid this may be the only way out of the abuse he is causing you. If the people in your church have been taken in by his lies, could you consider talking to a pastor or something in a different church? An independent ear who doesn't know your husband may be able to give you some advice you can use.

I hope that helps, even if it's just a little. My heart goes out to you.
Good luck.