So, last night was brutal. I found out that my wife had her bags packed and was ready to go a while ago. We had a talk after counseling and the following things came out:

1 I don't hate you, I love you and you're my best friend... But my feelings are gone

2 I need time, but not space to think right now

3 If you give me space we can't work on this

4 I am willing to go to counseling as long as it takes

5 I can't forgive you or let you in my heart... yet

I am trying to put all that together in a coherent package and can't figure it out. I read it as she is willing to give it time to see if it can work... but there were so many back and forth conflicting statements that my mind is a whirlwind. I too am willing to put the time in ever long it may take... it sounds like she is... but in some ways it sounds like she is just willing to put in the time and not the effort. Just feeling crushed right now... like all the glimmers of hope the last 3 weeks have been lies she has been giving me to try to soften the blow. We got homework from the therapist now and it sounds like she is willing to do it. We will see. I think it will help if she does it. The therapist said she had to forgive in order to let the walls come down. My wife said that was her goal... to tear down the walls. I guess there is just so much uncertainty that neither of us knows what to think.

Any input, thoughts or ideas would be greatly appreciated.