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The best book on trauma that helped me was Judith Herman's Trauma and Recovery. She doesn't just stay with symptoms, but she describes a clear path to healing. I have used it regardless of what is going on in therapy."

This is the exact book I was quoting from. And yes, I too found it very very much helpfull because on so many things, I though "yes! this is exactly how i feel." I found it very comforting to read my weird feelings and thoughts put down so accurately in a book. Also, the path to healing seemed very hopefull to me.

" While it is crucial to recovery to be able to put together a coherent narrative, often people are distanced from the story (dissociated) so they can tell the story in detail, but they are unable because of the effects of trauma to connect feelings and reality to what they are saying."
Yes that is what I meant, and I am afraid of that.
I already found out that I can write about it, but somehow it doesn´t make it much more real.

Thank you for explaining.