PsychCEO,

I'm from Asian rooted family. I have the same issue as your gf's one. The main reason starts from me. My mother does not want me to date and move in with my bf now. 'cause he is an original white person. She considers that Eastern rules never accept ladies to have sex until marriage, cultural and lifestyle boundaries, age gap ( he is older than me 20 years old), etc.

I broke the rules.

My parents quarrel all the time, they nearly decided to divorce once, then came back and live together. Just only reason that my mom didn't want us to get hurt and live in a fatherless home.

My situation is nearly the same as your gf's. I think 4 years is such a long time for you and your gf to buld a stable and firm relationship. This is the suitable time to say to her mom. If I were in her shoes, I would reveal everything to her. I know it's hard for her 'cause I anticipate the consequence how resent she will be. But I'd rather choose to face to the truth (cause I love him) than tell a big lie all the time, which makes me tired, scared, etc. If she does love you, she will know how to deal with this issue in harmony.

My bf and me do not live together, I live with my family. But everday I go to his apartment and try to spend most of our possible time together. To some extent, I think that's okay.

I understand you love her, you want her to be happy. You think you should wait till your gf is ready. And find out why her mom does not accept you. When you know the exact reason, you will know how to do it.

Hugs to you. I wish you both will happy together.