Last night was the first meeting of the group H.E.A.R.,heroin epidemic action reform that I started In Jason's honor.

In true bipolar form. I went over the top. Handouts, refreshments, and I even had a reporter from the local paper there. This reporter had written a big article on heroin in the same issue Jason's obituary ran.

We did the first two points on my agenda, then it was a free for all. Very emotional but not on point. At one point when the discussion became negative. People saying things like there is nothing we can do I left the room.

Talk about brain overload. At the end it did come around again with ideas for the next meeting. But by that time I was over the top stressed out! I guess this why I am on disability, I can't handle this stuff anymore.

Then the reporter at the end says she wants to come to my house and interview me along with videotape, she says she wants to see Jason's room. My jaw dropped I said we have not gone back in his room.

What have I got myself into? This is how my life goes, I get all hyped up then I just want out.

I need to find a middle ground.