Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie123456
what do you do when you constantly find out your boyfriend is lying about small things? i know he is lying because 1-i will have a feeling about it (and am always right) and he will admit it ONLY when we fight, and 2-his stories dont match when i snoop through his computer. his constant lies have made me lose all trust i have in him. i cant even talk to him about it because he just gets mad and turns the fight onto something that i have done to make him mad. i have been with him for a few years and it drives me crazy because i feel like i cant ask him anything without it being a lie..how can you trust someone to tell the truth when they have lied so much in the past? i found he was lying again today and i dont even know if i should confront him on it so it is just eating me up inside. even if i did confront him, he would never tell the truth until we are fighting. does anyone have any suggestions to how to deal with this - and please have a more elaborate answer then 'just leave him'.
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I can relate my husband lies to me all the time...he is not forthcoming about things. When I confront him he tries to continue to lie but I know already what the truth is and I just want to see if he will actually come clean and yet, he doesn't...until I show him all of my hard evidence. He doesn't fight with me, but he has a tendency to lie and bs again...even after he promises me he won't ever do it. I myself am trying to find answers. We are going to counseling now and we are hoping our therapist will provide us with solutions/guidance, especially for him... I need him to stop lying or (I already told him) I am giving him one last chance.
Do you see yourself being with your bf for the long term? Do you have future plans? The reason why I am asking is if you answer yes to these ...then it would be to your benefit to get counseling now. I know of many who have done this, including myself. I went to counseling with my ex-fiancée (the one I was with before I met my current husband). So, I caught my ex on lies. I demanded tat we go to counseling if he really wanted me to give him another chance and take him proposal seriously. He agreed, and we went to a handful of sessions. The therapists questioned him quite a bit about his lies...and shortly after i assessed that we weren't right for each other and that i couldn't be with him for the rest of my life. Perhaps, that is what it can do for you and/or your bf. it's best to know now...than when you're married...that is when it is harder to walk away.