Update:

Tuesday was the one year anniversary of the day we found two of my closest friends who'd been missing a week, dead. The anniversary was brutal, to say the least. After I put my son to bed I felt I desperately needed some company. Under that context, I texted Dude to see if he'd come over. I also thought I'd talk to him about the thing. He did respond, at least, and was reasonably consoling. But he was out of town for "awhile". So I guess more waiting, thinking, obsessing... Starting to think I should just move on. Most of my friends think that's what I should do.