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Voltin · 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by veez

I can so relate to what you are saying and could use some techniques for coping with emotions myself. I too often feel that I respond in a childlike way instead of bringing to a situation the strength and stability of a grown woman. The things that come to mind for me that would be helpful (which I often fail to recognize or put into action at the time) are things like having pre-determined standards for ways in which it is acceptable for others to treat me. Resisting the intrigue of curiosity so that I don't feed an issue and keep it going. Knowing when to stop trying to defend myself, my actions, what I think, etc. Realizing when it is time to let go. Taking responsibility for my own self-preservation. Doing or saying less when someone is signaling that I am too much, too intense, too dramatic, too sensitive, too emotional and accepting that they do not have the ability to relate to, understand or accept certain aspects of who I am. Wanting approval when it is not there to be offered seems to lead to frustration and ultimately creates distance where we are seeking closeness. Being there for ourselves in the way that we want others to be.
Responding to your post has given me food for thought that would be good for me to apply to myself. The vulnerability that steers us to respond in a childlike way to situations probably comes from fragility that has always been a part of us due to life experience. I think it's important to not feel that we have to act in such a way that rejects that part of us. But, at the same time it is a private part of who we are that we need to recognize is not appropriate to bring into most social situations or relationship problems. It is our personal responsibility to find balance in the ways that we communicate with others, while assuring the fragile child in us that we are capable of addressing any situation as the adult we are now. I tend to ramble. Thank you for indulging my thoughts in response to your post.

In many ways the reply given here relates to my realizations of late, as to the acceptance of my emotion/feelings being valid for myself, and no acceptance or validation from others is necessary. Though I must admit, in most cases this is true, but in such as this moment a validation of this kind of is most welcome. I'm most glad to have read such an understanding & well worded description of how I'm coping with the emotion/feelings brought on by the world around me. I have admitted to myself, though this is only a workable scenario for myself, that choices of when and who I interact is very dependant to my sense of well being. Having the statement of "humans are social beings by nature" is of no reference to me , an occasional social encounter is well enough. Having placed myself in activities that have actually put me on a stage in front of an audience was exciting , but the personal relationships with people behind the scenes became unhealthy for me. Many attempts to find social situations to involve myself has sent me packing back to limiting myself to a life on my terms. My emotions are volatile to stress which I struggle with everyday. Reading the words of the quote above ends my struggle of how to say what I realized for myself.
Thank you