I don't have any advice, or anything

but wanted to let you know I read your post...

(if ok).
I don't know, there is also a PTSD forum one and a Survivors of Abuse forum here on PC, that maybe there could also be some helpful answers you could investigate?
I hope this helps you...(of course I don't post on this forum a lot, so I bet there is someone who can help you here too...!

)
Welcome to PC.