Quote:
Originally Posted by blondie123456
what do you do when you constantly find out your boyfriend is lying about small things? i know he is lying because 1-i will have a feeling about it (and am always right) and he will admit it ONLY when we fight, and 2-his stories dont match when i snoop through his computer. his constant lies have made me lose all trust i have in him. i cant even talk to him about it because he just gets mad and turns the fight onto something that i have done to make him mad. i have been with him for a few years and it drives me crazy because i feel like i cant ask him anything without it being a lie..how can you trust someone to tell the truth when they have lied so much in the past? i found he was lying again today and i dont even know if i should confront him on it so it is just eating me up inside. even if i did confront him, he would never tell the truth until we are fighting. does anyone have any suggestions to how to deal with this - and please have a more elaborate answer then 'just leave him'.
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I wish I had an easier and more kind answer - one more hopeful. But small, petty lying that is frequent, along with being secretive and closed-off about activities or things going on without you around, is not a good sign. And it shows that this person will not be very honest most likely in the long run. It is even a worse sign that you have already been together for over 12 months and he is exhibiting this kind of behavior, especially if he did not used to (?).
You have the right to assertively - keyword - confront him. It's not fair of him to keep secrets behind your back, or make you play the guessing game and have anxiety. I had a boyfriend of a few months just like this, and it ended our relationship. He was very dishonest, probably did not cheat but often made me wonder if he did or at least thought about it, and I was always questioning where he was sometimes, or what he was doing. I had to pull teeth to get solid, stable answers out of him when we made plans or asked about what he was up to, in a normal way a partner should. It was all so weird and honestly nobody deserves it!!! You don't either.
I feel like just leaving him is not the good answer here either. You need to try to work it out before calling it quits. Good luck...