Simon,
I haven't heard anything negative come out of you until now.. I have to admit it's somewhat surprising. But everyone has their up's and down's.
I think you are an amazing person. And I don't think you should blame yourself. I think a lot of the time, parents do things without realizing [and sometimes caring] about the effect it's going to have on their children.
I have never been around an alcoholic, but my best friend when I was little had parents that drank ALOT. I saw how much she suffered because of it and how badly she wanted to get out of that situation.
i understand why you feel like it's your fault, but I truly believe that it's not.
I think a lot of the time parents start drinking because they can't handle their lives and their children. They can't take the pressure and responsiblity so they just give up, and start doing something like drinking as an outlet.
I relate to you when you say that people in every day life come to you only when they need help. That's how i feel too. But it may be because you are a great listener and you give great advice.. People just don't realize that we have our own problem and need help too sometimes.
Well, I hope you are feeling better..
And hope I helped, so certainly made me feel better.
Have a great day =]