I've hardly been able to stop thinking about the news all day...another gun, another school, more deaths...

I'm upset for them, but I'm still upset for me as well - I shouldn't be!

What I saw was nothing compared to some people.

It shouldn't bother me as much as it does.

What if I'm trying to make myself feel worse than I do? It wouldn't be the first time - I remember in P7 I made myself cry by telling myself "I saw it all" over and over...I didn't see it all!

What if I'm doing it for attention? At one of the anniversaries, a couple of girls in my year started crying during assembly, and a teacher noticed - she pointed to the year below, and told the girls that that year were fine, so they should be too, and to stop being attention-seeking.

But how could I? It was a horrible, horrible thing...who would use something like that to get attention?

I'm a terrible person.

(Feel free to yell at me, delete this post, whatever. I don't deserve to be here. )