I told my wife that I need to know that she really knows that I am suffering. I have chased all my friends away. She is the last person I fail to chase away. I don't need her to understand. I just need her to know. I need it. I gather every ounce of sincerity that I have and try all sorts of ways to make her understand that I need her to know. I am in my own way trying to know her love for me.