and for the most part I find myself crying at the end of the day. I can't grasp this fact, but it seems like I get very lonely when I masturbate. And when I'm lonely and nobody is there to talk to me about anything--just anything--I start thinking,"It's got something to do with masturbation." People seem to have prior knowledge of what I do before I do and people often show that by ignoring me beforehand. YOu may think I'm being paranoid, but I'm serious, this always happens and I wish it didn't.