((( Rio_ )))

You are NOT a terrible person.

Don't be so hard on yourself. It doesn't sound to me AT ALL that you're seeking attention.

It's natural after a tragic event for people to have the fear of "it happening to them." You begin to question your own mortality and that fear can spin out of control.

You said, What I saw was nothing compared to some people. That could be survivors guilt.

Add to that the realization that you have no control over situations like the current events, and that a human "enemy" could do such a horrendous thing, and you have the makings of trauma.

Are you seeing a T? Hopefully with some help, this will be resolved soon.