I don't think it is possible for me to come out of depression, but my therapist acts so 100% sure that I will just snap out of it and be a totally different person. I feel almost certain that no drug can change who I am. I've tried a couple different meds so far and haven't felt any different (besides side effects).

I wake up each night, very tired, I force myself to go to work. I hate my job and sometimes the people I work with. But I try to remind myself that it isn't their fault. I don't believe that anyone is to blame or at fault for anything ever. I take everything seriously, that includes what other people may find absolutely hysterical. I find nothing funny.

I mean, some people find it funny when the lady at work says she's pregnant again, (she seems to keep getting pregnant), and she says if she has any more she will have to start giving them away.

I do not find it funny. Do you find this funny?

I see the value in life, although it doesn't seem to have a meaning, but another life born in the world is a moment of sadness in my being, whatever that may be, I don't really believe I have a soul.

It makes me infinitely sad to know that people are born, forced into the world without their consent.

It isn't anyone's fault that they are the way they are. I just don't believe we choose anything, from being born to dying.

All that communication feels like to me is two people talking right past each other. Even now, as I write this message, no one will truly understand what I am saying. There are no words that can express how sad I feel. This is why I am lonely every day, even when among others. I hate my life, this miserable existence.