When someone other than you thinks they know what you should do, you really are not going to talk them out of their point to view, no matter how you explain. I would cut that conversation short, to save my sanity. I've been there. Lately, I'm even resorting to thanking people for their bright ideas, as I disengage from the back-and-forth that I might otherwise have gotten sucked into . . . just to feel denigrated.

We want so much to be validated, and sometimes it's just not there. Your wife and you seem to be on the same page. That is probably what is most important. You might try going to the crisis intake of a psych hospital, or an emergency room and see what happens. You can flat out say that you feel exptremely distressed, but are not an imminent danger to yourself, or anyone else. That way you don't get an admission you don't want. But . . . you might get a referral to something you don't even know exists. Once, going for 23 hour observation got me into a partial hospitalization program that helped me enormously.

Best of luck. Let us know how things go.