Thanks for reply, Hellion. I don't have a problem with factual or task-oriented stuff with people, or asking for help/directions/pencil in a situation where it's reasonable they should help me, like if it's their job or whatever. A thing I find that works is start with, "Excuse me . . ." Of course the casual way between young people would probably be just, "Hey, can I borrow a pencil?" But I tend to be more polite. Probably doesn't look as weird as it used to, because I'm now a lot older than my classmates. (Mature student.)

My problem is with any social niceties. I'm clueless because I can't understand what's important to them and how to accommodate that - and also be myself, of course. Anything social, no go. People who are social seem to talk about nothing that's relevant, and yet they make friends from that. I don't understand. I'm just uncomfortable around people. Social things are not task-oriented, it seems.