1. How bad were your anxiety and depression and OCD? Were you suffering badly? I am guessing you may have been to have been medicated at a young age and for so long, but only you and your family know your history.

I was suffering pretty badly, and also did when I intentionally came off of my meds, but I think I could've worked through my problems with a therapist. Who knows. I will NOT tell you that I think the drugs aren't helpful. They are, and none of us can deny that. I just really am suspicious of them. Also, my parents rely on them VERY heavily-to the point where when everyone-all of my treatment team-insisted on inpatient/more intense therapy, they just said "no, you just need your meds right." They're firm believers in the "magic pill" theory. -_-

2. Have you gotten any relief from of your symptoms with the meds?

Yes, I have. But only after trying over 20 different cocktails and wasting much of the last 4 years having awful side effects and taking meds that didn't work.

3. When/if you did not feel you were getting relief, or when you had too many side effects, did your doctor work with you to find better options?

Yes, but lately she's given up and yesterday we resorted back to the first medication I ever took. We've tried everything.

4. Were you at all satisfied with your meds prior to reading/thinking about and getting concerned about government control of your thoughts? In other words, are you letting fear drive your concerns, as opposed to objectively taking stock of how effective the medications are? Try to get some help divorcing your thoughts form worry about government control and try to objectively think about whether aspects of your life are better (or not) with meds, and if so, which symptoms and which meds.

I used to just take my meds and not question it. It always has bothered me, but the "paranoia" is relatively recent. My meds never made me feel "good". I've always felt weird on them and different. I've mentioned this all to my psychiatrist and my therapist, and it-and some of my other beliefs-concerns them greatly. They're reluctant to call it "schizophrenia", so they call me "delusional". Its only a matter of time though. The labels are just another way to get me more meds and new meds, especially now that I've caught on to the plan. It's all really scary to me. But at the same time, the labels intrigue me-its felt lately like I'm watching this happening and its not happening to me, and the doctors and therapists are all little ants scattering to rebuild their anthill after someone stepped on it and I'm the anthill. It's an odd and interesting feeling...I don't think I'm making sense anymore. I think I'm really really going crazy.

Thank you for your kind reply. You raised great questions.

Nomad