You have a clean slate then Babu if you have nothing. I can hear the despair and imagine the fear your going thru but we all have to build a life at some time and it is hugely scary. Most of my friends were people Ive worked with even tho I didnt hit it off with all of them and quite often I felt terrible about myself being with them but at least I was learning who I am as it went. Growing means learning. This isnt meant to make you feel that you can just snap out of your feelings cause I know its not that easy. What I am trying to say is that you are 19. Give yourself a chance.

I hope you can find a good therapist.