My wife tells me explicitly what she expects and I do it. During the year I will see things and get them for her, unasked, and those are more surprises. A movie she has talked about or new slippers or a favorite food or something like that. Bigger things from time to time. When it counts, though, she lets me know what will make her happy. To be honest, though, I am the one who is hard to shop for because for the most part I don't want anything and I would rather she kept the money instead of buying something for me. It took me a couple years to get her to realize that she was really sick and tired of bothering with cards.

So my suggestion is, decide what would make you happy and spell it out in detail. And don't assume that a year from now he will remember. By then the emotional impact will have dulled. While you are at it, be sure to let him know how to handle your anniversary and Christmas and Valentines Day and anything else. Hmm. That reminds me. I had totally forgotten about Valentines Day.