Quote:
Originally Posted by Leed
OMG -- That would drive me absolutely NUTTY!  Since you've told him about this, why does he keep on doing it? Doesn't he realize he's talking all the time? Is it just something he does without realizing it? Can you come up with a "code word" to say when he starts doing it, to let him know that he's doing it again, and he's to SHUT UP when you say that "code word?" At least then you wouldn't have to bite his head off. LOL
There's got to be a "condition" or something that makes him do this. Perhaps he needs to see a therapist. Have you considered asking him to see someone? This just doesn't sound normal to me. It sounds anxiety ridden to me. Is he an anxious-type man? Is he always worried, nervous, edgy, testy, etc.?
Dearheart, you do NOT sound stupid by any means. How you have endured this for "many years" is beyond me! I probably would have killed him by now, or else put a hit out on him.  Having to live with someone who does this is just too cruel. lol I would ask him to see his doc first. Perhaps there's some medical reason. THEN I'd get him to a therapist if the doc says he's ok.
I wish you the very best my friend. Please let us know what happens, will you? I don't want to have to think that you're living like this forever. So PLEASE let us know, I beg you! God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee |
Hey there Leed,
Oh he most definitively has a problem with anxiety, undiagnosed, but definitively a problem. He knows that he does. He truly doesnt mean to cause me anxiety. He's not a mean spirited person, not by any stretch of the imagination. Thats why I endure it . Its almost like a nervous tick. whereas, I bottle up my "ticks", his flow freely. He's a worrier. Hes a very sensible person so I dont understan why he wont enter therapy of even family counseling.
There is some history behind this story so make yourself comfortable, get yourself a glass of wine.
He saved me from my family. I mean that quite literally. My childhood was chaotic to put it mildly. Domestic violence or rather, there were alot of *** kickings, not on me but my mother and some siblings , there are 9 of us. We all had to learn to survive in different ways in that house. Numerous sexual abuse traumas, rape.... you get the gist of it.
Ive struggled with depression, bipolar, anxiety and quite a few hospitalizations. I caused my family alot of heartache. I made my own home chaotic for my husband and kids. He's stood by me, supported and cared for me. He still does!! He was mother to our kids when I was unable to mother them. He could have easily kicked me to the curb. He would have been perfectly justified. It takes fortitude to live with me because I can be difficult, unintentionally, but difficult none the less. I have to call a spade a spade. He did me a monumental favor. It was a leap of faith to marry me knowing my history. It sounds callous but the love was incidental, for both of us. But it is genuine love.
. Im embarrassed to admit this but, I asked him to marry me. Primarily to get me out of the asylum that I called home. I was barely 19 and he was 26. I needed a stabalizing figure in my life and he was that stabalizing figure. We've been married for 26 years and we've had our ups and downs, we have 2 really great kids. We love each other very much. We have a good marriage, save this tick of his and my many mental health issues. I truly am fortunate, despite my childhood. Even with that, my parents did their best. Ive had alot of unfortunate things happen to me but I have had plenty of good things also. I recognize my good fortune and am grateful.
SO, how can I not return the favor.?? How do I accomplish that while still taking care better care of myself???
Thanks for listening. Hope the wine helped.